Friday, April 20, 2012

I have a confession ...

Why do women get so emotionally involved with the characters in the books we read?

I ask that after reading this article on Huffington Post where the author says she has cheated on her husband with Christian Grey, the dominating male in the Fifty Shades series that have taken women by storm. I found myself reading her article and saying "YES. I TOTALLY FEEL THE SAME WAY!"

I feel like I have cheated on my husband with Christian Grey. Two weeks after finishing the series, I still find myself thinking about the relationship between Christian and Anastasia. I compare myself to them and my own relationship to theirs. And it almost killed my relationship.

A week ago, after being on the road for work, I had an opportunity to spend a brief few days with Rob before I went back on the road for work. And I found myself begging him to be more like Christian. I wanted someone who was chivalrous and kind. I wanted someone who would turn off the sporting event to be with me and do what I wanted to do. And as I was saying things I really only meant to keep bottled in my head, I could see the hurt in his eyes.

I still want some of those things, but as I've been sitting and comparing my relationship to theirs, I realized I was too envious of the lifestyle this author created. And that's just it. It's just a creation -- a utopia for mom's across the country about which they can dream. It's a fantasy, and while I could debate the quality of writing with anyone (because honestly, it wasn't of the high caliber we see in most bestsellers), what E.L. James did with the characters made the book for me. E.L. James was able to find pieces of every housewife and mom in this country and put them into the book. And she was able to take the character of Christian Grey and turn him into the man every woman in America desires.

I didn't marry Christian Grey. I married Rob. He's a wonderful man and an amazing and caring father. (In fact, he's at home right now taking care of our sick son while I'm at work!) He has flaws, but we all do. So while I strive to be more like the strong woman I found in Anastasia, all I can really ask Rob to be is himself. Because in the real world, that's what really matters. I don't want my husband playing a role created by some author. I want my husband to be true to himself in all that he is. And if I'm half the wife I strive to be, that will be more than enough for me.

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